Box Sets...

I've started to realize that I have a relationship with every TV show who's DVD box set I get my hands on. It starts off fun and happy. I'm like one of those traveling preachers (do those exist?) telling the world about the perfectness that is The Office. Everyone is already watching it and they I'm totally lame for just starting, but whatever, I'm still cool enough for Jesus.

Now, when I'm watching the box sets, I don't ration myself like any normal human being. " Let's watch 2 episodes a day so that I have time to go on with my life!" Fuck that, I watch the whole box set in one day, or as long as it takes, hm... I feel really pathetic as I type this. Oh well (I feel like I say 'oh well' a lot.. what does that say about me?)

but then it ends. You fall in love with these little fuckers and BLIP (seriously, it makes a BLIP sound) it ends. IT'S GONE. You wake up in the morning with an empty feeling, as if your missing something that you loved oh so much. Oh, and if the show has already ended.. there is nothing more depressing than watching the final episode. It's like the moment where it says, "Hey... I gotta get going" and you burst into tears as you desperately try to hook yourself on to its legs before it can make it out the front door, but it kicks you away and you sob as you hear the car engine turn on. Well, that's what happens with my hookers.

Anyways, I thought I should share that relationship.

Damn you Will & Grace.

Of QVC and stuff

I have developed an uncomfortable dependency on QVC lately.. and I love it. QVC is one of those home shopping networks that markets towards older women(and insomniacs like me), well, except for during the holidays.


Starting after Halloween or so, they shift gears into total total Christmas mode, and I'm pretty sure it's the most hilarious thing ever. During these holiday months, they sell TONS of tech gadgets and toys and i'm sure the people trying to sell the products didn't even know the name of what they're selling 5 minutes prior to presenting it, let alone how to use it, but oh how they fake it. This leads to two common events that make me ride my lolskates through the house:

1) They break the thing. Oh yes, you can just stick your iPod into the port right here like this and.. it'll just play it beautifully. Hm.. Well uh... -pushes ear piece in- It doesn't seem like we have the correct adapter, -fake laugh- OH THE MAGIC OF LIVE TV!

2) They lie about the product. It usually goes like this..
QVC Employee: Yea, caller, you've had the vacuum for five years huh? Don't you love it?
Caller: Yea! I love my -breathe- (for some reason everyone who calls into QVC breathe like it's going out of style) vacuum. I had it fo' fa' year and I bought one for ma daughta cause she just got married!
QVC Employee: Wow! That's great! Don't you love how it works so well on the stairs?
Caller: Uh... Mine don't work on no stairs.

Oh QVC, how you make me lol.